Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Afterward we went to Lalo's for margaritas and chimichangas, and presented Julie with our gifts of appreciation. She is a wonderful teacher, and we all learned a lot from her. I don't like to be overly sentimental, but we were a good group, and I'm going to miss working with everyone.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
"Report" occurs at the beginning of every nursing shift, in which the nurse starting his or her workday gets all of the patient information from the nurse who cared for them during the previous shift. The information includes patient history, alertness, vital signs, nursing care provided, family visits, recent medications given, and any other anecdotes that may be helpful for the nurse starting the shift.
It is an important and chaotic ritual that occurs on our floor every 8 hours, in which sentences such as "Who had Mr. Rahoonance?", "Patient thinks it is 1986" and "She pooped times 2 overnight, runny" are overheard.
Monday, April 28, 2008
I should get my work done early more often.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
Before the show, I would have put money on the fact that Colleen would be the one to volunteer for The Dream portion of the night, and indeed she did. She told us about her day, and then we showed her what that night's dream might look like. It ended up being pretty incoherent and kind of crazy, which are also words that could describe most of the nurses after however many Friday beers they had consumed prior to coming to the theater.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
And I have to give a shout out to the guy who works the bagel station at State and Van Buren. You're the hardest working person there, and I hope your colleagues respect your work ethic and the proficiency with which you adapted to the new flatbread sandwiches.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
Julie: It might be pretty here if it wasn't right next to the Tollway.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
I was skeptical when T.R. told me that it cooks the perfect pizza, but he was right. When you're slumming with a Jack's or a Tombstone, you might as well reach for perfection.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
I played pretty well for the first outing of the season: 2-4, with 2 doubles, 4 RBI, and two runs scored, one of which sent the game into extra innings. But more importantly, I discovered that I could still run 60 feet without having a heart attack. It was a tough loss in extra innings, as we just couldn't overcome the three run deficit in the bottom of the 9th. Next week.
Also, Julie and I saw Teeth at The Music Box. It was probably the best a movie about vagina dentata could possibly be.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Luckily, I can keep tabs on what's happening there using the QuadCam: http://www.uiuc.edu/resources/quadCam.html. No anti-war rally or awkward frisbee circle will go unnoticed. I wonder if Preacher Dan and Crazy Sports Guy are still around?
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
This week Elise was complaining of weird heart palpitations. Julie, awesome instructor that she is, saw this as a great opportunity to teach us how to use an ECG machine. We went down to the research lab where she works, hooked the leads up to Elise, and ran the ECG. Normal sinus rhythm = boring, but I'm glad that Elise had no immediate cause for concern.
I might fake a stroke next week so that we can learn how to use an MRI.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
But I would be lying if I said I wasn't tempted to stay on the train every morning and see what 54th and Cermak is all about.
Monday, April 14, 2008
I finally went shopping again today. I was suckered into buying these novelty apples that are supposed to taste like grapes. There was no price listed, so I figured they would be $4 tops, a fair price to pay to satisfy my curiosity. When I got home, I discovered that I had paid $7 for them. I tried one, and yeah, it kind of tasted like a grape; but what I thought was a miracle of artificial selection and orchard ingenuity turned out to be a sham. They are just apples dipped in grape flavoring, and I paid the opportunity cost of a Saturday matinee to have them.
It made me wonder what other things could be dipped in flavoring and marketed with a clever smerge. I'm thinking about dusting these bananas in ranch flavoring and calling them baranchulas.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
We started off playing by a legitimate set of rules, but ended up developing a sort of bocce golf. Someone would whip the boccino very far away, and we would get two turns to get near it, kind of like a par 2. We also decided that it's more interesting to throw over trees and blast into fences than just rolling the balls. I had a ton of work I was supposed to be doing, but decided bocce was more important.
Then I went home and made tacos.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Occasionally my friend Kellina asks me to proctor the ACT test at Holy Trinity High School. In the interest of helping out and making some extra scrizzle, I usually oblige her.
On this particular occasion, I noticed that many students left large sections at the end of each test blank. Even the ACT guidelines are explicit in the fact that it is to the student's advantage to answer every question. I wanted to encourage them, but as an impartial proctor, was helpless to do anything about it. It's the same type of student apathy that killed me slowly over the last few years.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
When I look at a patient's chart for the first time, I feel like I spend most of the time figuring out what all of the acronyms mean. A few weeks ago my patient had SBO, SOB, and BSO. Thanks to www.medilexicon.com, I was able to figure out that these were small bowel obstruction, shortness of breath, and bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
One major ongoing study is examining Chronic Renal Insufficiency. A woman was there for a screening to see if she qualified for this study, so the nurse drew blood and took a urine sample. I then watched her do the urinalysis and prepare the blood sample by spinning it in the centrifuge. The experience brought me back to my days in the mosquito lab, where I decided I did not want a career in research. Today's experience made it a viable option again.
One of the nurses mentioned that retention of participants is one of the main problems with research, and told me about the monetary compensation involved. She said there is one healthy guy who makes about $50,000 a year being a participant at local hospitals. She then told me about a prostate study going on right now if I was interested in earning a little extra cash. This begs the question, what is the minimum amount of money one should accept to let a doctor put his or her finger in your butt?
Monday, April 7, 2008
Sunday, April 6, 2008
He also let me give him a subcutaneous injection of lovenox, a medication to help prevent blood clots. It was the first shot I have administered to a human. I was a bit nervous, but it was nice to know that my first injection would be given to someone who wasn't allowed to hate me for it.
Me: Do you mind if I post a picture of your knee?
Dad: No, go ahead. Do you want my trademark? (referring to his lack of an index finger)
Me: Uh, sure. Bonus.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
This bedpan caught my eye for a potential photo op, and the label of "ASSTRAY" made it an easy frontrunner for the daily entry. I learned a new word, and am looking forward to finding out whether or not this is official nursing lingo, or just creative labeling. The woman selling it also had a stack of metal signs that said "CAN'T TOUCH THIS!" with an American flag, a screaming eagle, and a fighter jet. They were incredible, but in my opinion overpriced at $5, so I tried to negotiate.
Me: How much could you come down on the price if I bought more than one?
Vendor: Well, I already reduced them from 8 dollars and put them on the 5 dollar table. I really can't take any more of a loss on them.
Me: Really? Who besides me has offered to buy one?
Vendor: Nobody today, but I sold one for 19 dollars at a monster truck show.
Me: Fair enough. Maybe I'll be back later.
I did not go back, something I may regret for the rest of my days.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Today Reny attired Katie in one of her many saris, and also did a pretty hilarious impersonation of her mother.
I am a big fan of this course. Any other class on a Friday afternoon would be torture.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Patient education is an important aspect of nursing. This seems like a well written educational pamphlet, and answered all of the questions I would have if surgeons were going to drill holes in my head and remove a piece of my skull.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
I found all of them except one because somebody had torn it from the journal. If anybody out there has a copy of Volume 95 of Otolaryngology and Head and Neck Surgery, I would love to borrow it. And you, the person who removed pages 247-248, "Passy-Muir Tracheostomy Speaking Valve", are an asshole.