Aside from having eye surgery when I was a kid and getting stitches after a dog bite, I have had limited experience with medical procedures. Oh yeah, there was that hack at McKinley in Champaign that cut off some moles and didn't stitch them up or anything.

The prep work was terrible, but I learned two things: magnesium citrate is an extremely effective laxative, and it is difficult giving yourself an enema, especially when your arms are as short as mine.

The flexible sigmoidoscopy itself was one of the most horrible things I have ever had to endure. The only thing that really hurt about it is the gas pain caused by being pumped full of air. The worst part, which the doc warned me about, is when they turn the camera back on itself to look in the outward direction. Overall, it was extremely uncomfortable and embarrassing. It was kind of neat getting to see my insides on a 25" screen, but there was not another single positive aspect to this experience, except for the fact that they didn't find anything wrong that I didn't already know about.

Me: This is horrible. Am I being a baby?
Nurse: Maybe a little.
Me: They do full sedation for the colonoscopy, right?
Nurse: Yes, usually. I did mine without sedation.
Me: Wow, I really am a baby. [In my mind: You are an idiot weirdo.]