Katie and Nick celebrated their thirtieth birthdays this week. Nick and Trupe arranged a party at The Candlelite, a delightful pizza joint/bar in Rogers Park. It was a semi-surprise party for Katie, and her sister made Nick and Katie masks for us to wear during the "SURPRISE!"

It was a fun night, and I got to reunite briefly with a few of my favorite people. I'm terrible at correspondence, so sometimes these parties are the only times I get to see these folks. I am a good friend and a bad friend all in one.

P.S. I passed my skills test on Wednesday. I think I did pretty well, if for no other reason than the fact that I was more relaxed. This week is our Physical Assessment final, so hopefully I'll also do well on that.

Our afternoon class was cancelled today because the professor was out of town. Definitely a nice bonus after the test this morning. Julie and I rarely get to see each other in the daytime, so we met for lunch, and she talked me into going on a short bar tour of Lincoln Square. In my youth, this would be called a Bar Crawl, and we would talk about printing t-shirts for it, but never actually do it. I'm not sure what to call it now. Maybe a Leisurely Tavern Tour, or a No Pressure Pub Hop-Around?

Destinations: Opart Thai House, gross antique store, Spyner's Pub, used book store, Carola's Hansa Clipper, Huettenbar, Chicago Brauhaus, Book Cellar.

Purchases: Red curry catfish, Opart beef, Julie's boring chicken dish, Budweiser, Jack and Coke, book on handwriting analysis, random dark beer, Jack and Coke, 2 shots of a liqueur that tasted too much like Jagermeister, Kostritzer dark lager, Jack and Coke, Bitburger, Jack and Coke, two jukebox songs, two thuringer sausages and fries, Brauhaus lager, Jack and Coke, two copies of Good Night Chicago

Accomplishments: discovered Spyner's, withdrew money from ATM, finished The Onion's crossword, spent quality time

Regrets: gross shots, forsaking Ricochet's, not getting a $5 haircut

I went to the Ten Cat today for 9-ball league, and ended up buying a painting. My pool buddy Rick met the artist in Mexico, and arranged to display and sell some pieces at the bar. I guess you would consider most of the stuff of a surrealist nature, which is usually not my bag, but his stuff is awesome.

This is not something I do regularly, and is not something of which I should make a habit, especially considering my student budget. But this piece jumped out at me, and I had to own it. I am a sucker for gremlindogs.

Me: Am I a scumbag for using student loan money to buy art?
Rick: Yeah, I guess, considering you're paying me with my own tax money.
Me: But as a result of this education, I'll also be washing your balls someday.
Rick: Then we'll be even, so I guess it all works out.

Today I studied with Katy, Michelle, and Jackie at Michelle's place in North Center. I have never been a study group person. I always felt that I could get through more material on my own, and learned better by burying myself in a textbook.

This year, I have discovered the benefit of the study group. It helps to talk through challenging material with people and share my understanding/misunderstanding. We got through a few meaty sets of lecture notes for the PathoPharm test on Thursday, and there was popcorn and pita chips. All in all, a productive day.

The manikins have interchangeable appendages and genitals. If you need something else, you just get it from the Bucket of Parts.

Our instructors added an extra day of lab testing so that we could get more practice and some one on one time with them to go over individual skills. It was set up in a testing format, and we had to pass each skill station. It was less pressure than a full patient scenario, and was ultimately very helpful. After today, I feel much better about the fact that I will be responsible for taking care of real people. As frightening as the manikins can be, live humans are infinitely more terrifying.

After improv rehearsal, I studied my ass off for the impending skills tests/retests this week. I feel pretty good this time. We'll see what happens.

Even though I should, I don't do much volunteer work. My friend Alex is the Director of Development at The Cove School in Northbrook, a school for Chicago area students with learning disabilities. She asked a few friends to work the auction room, so I decided to help out. Lots of fun until the silent auction concluded, then all hell broke loose. Somehow we managed to make sure that generous donors got their American Airlines vouchers and Devin Hester autographed jerseys.

I got to stare at a guitar signed by The Who directly in the face, and was relieved that I didn't have the money to purchase such an item. Seriously, imagine the responsibility of owning something that represents the finest aspects of rock and roll, and knowing that the only way to truly honor such an instrument is to crank a passionate windmill and smash it against a kitchen countertop.

In anticipation of the pathophysiology/pharmacology exam next Thursday, Jackie and I studied for a few hours at the Ten Cat. It was simultaneously productive and relaxing. Somehow respiratory acidosis doesn't seem so intimidating with a pint of Mad Hatter at your elbow.

The Ten Cat is my favorite bar in Chicago, and the role model for the bar I hope to open some day. Chill, good music, mosaics, and beautiful pool tables. They have a nice back room with a fireplace, but a few eager happy hourists decided they needed ALL of the tables for their small group. Annoying, for sure, but we found a flat surface next to the 9 footer that met our needs.

I hope that our Federal Drink Study program takes off. I'm taking Fridays back, people.

The manikins end up in weird places and positions all the time. I took this picture of an impromptu manikin party that occurred a couple weeks ago.

I feel much better after yesterday's ickiness. I know that I'm doing the right thing, I know that I'm smart, and I know I'm going to be good at this someday. I also know that I'm going to miss the manikins when skills lab is over in a couple weeks, and that I have an open invitation to party with them any time.

Humbled

I did not pass my skills test today. I was devastated. Walking to my car, I realized that I was so upset because I have never failed a test before. Not ever. Sure, I've struck out with men on base, and I've given up on a Thursday NY Times crossword. But this was my first time failing a formal evaluation. It was a bit of a blow to my confidence, and made me question whether I should even be in this program. Kristie bought me Chipotle for driving her sprained ankle to school. I felt better after crawling into a burrito.

I wasn't worried going in, and I did well measuring urine output, changing the IV solution and tubing, and giving the subcutaneous heparin injection. But I made some stupid general mistakes that did me in, namely not closing the curtain for privacy, and not checking the patient's wristband to identify her as the right person. My evaluator was patient and fair, but I got so flustered knowing I had already made mistakes, that I kind of fell apart. I get to retest next week, and at least I know I won't make the same mistakes again. Kristie said that's called "failing forward". And I wasn't the only one to fail, which selfishly made me feel a little better.

Nick: (via email) Meador, I like to think that at the least your patient would scream, "Close the curtain, for God's sake! My balls are hanging loose! By the way, I'm not Herman Casalino." So two of those are usually pretty avoidable in a practical situation.

Tomorrow is our skills final, where we get a patient scenario and have to perform the appropriate skills to care for that patient. Today I spent open practice time working on injections, NG tubes, suctioning, and wound care. I felt pretty confident going in, but the little details I have forgotten along the way caused some anxiety. For some reason I have no trouble studying and remembering concrete knowledge, but procedural knowledge has always been more difficult. Maybe it's like that for everyone.

Colleen and Laura donned masks and gowns to work on isolation precautions, which I did not practice. How hard can it be, right? Just read about it and do it.

On second thought, I've never been good at tying things behind my back. And what side of the mask faces out? Tomorrow I may be a victim of my own nursing hubris.

Today we learned Wound Care. Despite a playful name like Seymour Butts, the wound models kind of freaked me out. This is the first skill we have learned so far that made me wince when anticipating a patient's pain. Pressure ulcers, such as the Stage IV ulcer above the butt crack, are a terrible result of patient immobility and negligent nursing care.

Here is a list of the Top 5 Things I Never Want To Happen To Me:
1. An earwig crawling into my ear
2. Catching an eyelid on a nail or thorn
3. Pressure ulcers
4. A compound fracture/seeing one of my own bones
5. Accidentally eating someone's vomit

Saturday night I went to Colleen and Jon's place to celebrate Colleen's acceptance to dental school (Harvard), and Jon's first batch of home-brewed beer (India Pale Ale). Colleen and I were the Chemistry department at Northtown. She is an excellent teacher, and will be an excellent dentist. Alas, another teacher selfishly abandons the youth of Chicago.

There was good food, and good beer, and a dog. And I got to rock a little Weezer and Heart playing Guitar Hero III.

(This is an archival photo of Colleen and Jon (right), and Barry. Colleen and Jon do not live in a bar.)

I feel like lately this blog should be titled "Things I Ate Today", but I had to include Saturday breakfast with Julie. (For a great daily foodblog, check out Trupe's The Tamalehawk Tractate.)

Breakfast is my favorite meal, and I look forward to going out and trying new breakfast places. Today we went to Pannenkoeken Cafe on Western in Lincoln Square. I selected the havarti, mushroom, and bacon pannenkoeken, and it was delicious. Julie complained that the veggie omelette had too much cheese in it (is this possible?), but she liked it nonetheless.

I had a show tonight at iO with The Diplomat Motel. I walked in a little late as the rest of the group was warming up in the hallway. Apparently, they were as happy to see me as I was to see them.

Friday shows can be tough because you have to find the energy to perform after an exhausting week of work or school or whatever. Luckily we were up at 10:30, so I got to go home and take a big fat nap before showtime. The show was pretty good, a little sloppy, but generally funny and energetic.

I'm not sure what Timmy is doing to Arnie's elbow.

After being destroyed by the Patho/Pharm test, we had to muster up a smile for pictures. Not sure why they needed pictures of us, maybe for a website or something.

Elise is currently a CNA, so she works weekends in a hospital. She has more experience than most of us, and I'm glad she is in my clinical group. She also wants to practice invasive nursing procedures on other students all the time. As far as I know, nobody has let her.

To practice injections, we use weird slabs of fleshy rubber. I'm not sure what they are actually called, but I heard one of the instructors call it a Jelly Butt. Maybe it's a proprietary name, like Jelli-Butt. I don't know.

Lacking the ability to heal, they are full of little needle piercings. When you inject a liquid into them, it shoots out another hole somewhere, usually at another student or in your eye. I'm pretty sure this doesn't happen in real patients.

This week is busy. Last week's snow day gave us two extra tests in addition to the three already scheduled. After two tests today, I was able to get together with my old roommates Nick, Bill, and Trupe at Twin Anchors. We try to get ribs at least once a year. I wish it was weekly.

After skills practice today, Jackie and I were studying for Thursday's Pathophysiology/Pharmacology test in the Student Center when a man came in and started yelling at everyone on his way through. He was saying something about us wasting our time on education, then something about Vietnam and 25 inches of snow. I foolishly made eye contact with him as he passed, which prompted the following exchange:

Crazy: ...and that's the way it is, Fatman.
Me: Are you talking to me?
Crazy: (as he disappeared around the corner) No, I'm talking to the wall.

Definitely one of those moments where you want to call a do-over and say something or do something better. "Are you talking to me?" Whatever. I think what bothered me the most was how much this random unstable person was able to hurt my feelings. Fatman needs thicker skin or he won't last long in this profession. (Fatman should probably lay off the ribs, too.)

As a nurse, I'm probably not supposed to call someone crazy.
Nursing Diagnosis: Ineffective coping.

Contrary to the smiles, suctioning respiratory secretions from an airway seems like a really awful thing to have to do to somebody.

In an effort to stimulate the economy and fight terrorism, I used my tax refund to buy a TV.
Sometimes dreams do come true.

Proctored the ACT test at Holy Trinity High School to make a little extra cash. My friend Kellina is nice enough to let me help out every now and then. I haven't been around high schoolers for a while, and it made me miss my old students. A lot.

Went to a fly fishing expo in Schaumburg. I started fishing this summer, and it's great. A nice gentleman from Wheaton helped me tie my first fly. I had way more fun doing this than is reasonable.

Got a flat tire on the way to dinner with my family. It put me in a foul mood, but I was efficient like a Daytona pit crew. I changed the tire in 9 minutes, not quite as fast as during the Champaign Keg Emergency of '99, but still a respectable time.

By the time I got to Wildfire*, I was cursing the suburbs. I sometimes feel bad for the oft-maligned burbs, but then I go there and all sympathy ceases. I feel more claustrophobic in the suburbs than I ever do in the city. I quickly calmed down in the presence of my wonderful family, and we had a nice meal. I wish I could spend more time with them.

*Slightly overrated, but decent food and service. I'm not sure how a restaurant can be called a proper steakhouse if a soup or salad is not included with the meal.

Thursday and Friday we spend the whole day in lecture: Pathophysiology, Pharmacotherapeutics, Integrated Healthcare, and Cultural Fluency.
Laptops are required for the nursing program. Ten years ago, students who brought a laptop to class were just asking for silent judgment. Now I am one of them. I just wish I had shelled out a little more and bought a lighter computer.

The best part about it is being connected to the internet all the time. The worst part about it is being connected to the internet all the time and checking your email repeatedly, desperate for some sort of communication with the outside, praying that your shadeball friends will update their blogs, and when they finally do, that you won't get the giggles when reading all the hilarious things they have to say. Because once you start giggling, it's over; the professor knows there is nothing funny about acute kidney failure.

Julie and I ate too much at Flat Top, then went to see the play Jabberwock at The Latin School, where my friend Nick teaches theater. He does a phenomenal job with the kids, and really challenges them with the plays he chooses.

Me: I looked on the internet today and couldn't find much about this play. It's about James Thurber, right?
Nick: Yeah, it's not very popular. Not a lot of people do this play.

Before every show, I circle the names of the three kids I predict will be the best, and the three who will disappoint me. Nobody really disappointed me last night, and the freshman who played Doc Marlowe was especially good. Kid's got a bright future.

P.S. Check out Nick's blog, BaeRatings. Because everything should be given a letter grade.

We did not have class today due to the prediction of winter nastiness. It was great to have a snow day, but I felt bad because the storm didn't pan out to be as bad as it was supposed to be. To assuage my guilt, I got ahead on some schoolwork.

We have a series of videos on CD-ROM that supplement our reading assignments. They are really nerdy, with an overly dramatic soundtrack and a mildly hypnotic narrator. But they are also pretty helpful in allowing us to visualize the procedures we will be doing.

The first time I watched them, I assumed they wouldn't show much. Then all of a sudden a penis was being washed, and the reality of my new career set in. The patients in the videos do not seem like real patients, but they almost have to be, based on the horrible procedures they have done to them. And I wonder if they got paid on a sliding scale based on how invasive/awful the procedures are. Like maybe Unconscious Tooth Brush Guy got $50, Penis Wash Guy $150, and NG Tube Guy $275. I hope Urinary Catheter Woman got paid a shit ton.

In addition to learning skills in lab, we also focus on physical assessment of patients. In a few weeks, we have our assesment test, where we have to perform a complete physical exam on another classmate. I was nervous asking Corey to be my partner, like I was asking him to prom or something. (He said yes!)

The skills lab has a few exam rooms exactly like what you would find at a doctor's office. Corey and I practiced using the otoscope and ophthalmoscope to look at each other's ears and eyes.

Me: I just looked at Corey's retina.
Amy: With the door open?
Corey: What?
Amy: Oh, retina. I was thinking rectum.

Katy and Laura get acquainted with the IV practice arm.

I was relieved to find out today that we won't be starting any IVs this semester. I know someday I'll be doing this in my sleep, but right now it seems a little intense for Week 4. We did get to draw medications from a vial using a syringe, and that was strangely exciting.

The nurse party was followed closely by a teacher party at Leadway. They still like me enough to invite me to their gatherings. I've been away from teaching for less than two months, but it seems like forever. I made some great friends at Northtown, and I miss them a lot.

Here Patrick is making time with my old lady. I wanted to punch him in the mouth, but he's too much of a dreamboat.

Kristie had a nurse party at her home in Rogers Park. She has two really awesome and entertaining children who brought out most of their toys for us to play with.

Me: What's that, Cayden?
Cayden: It's my Leapfrog. It's better than a Nintendo DS.
Kristie: Yep, that's what we tell him.

It was a bit of a disappointing turnout, but considering most of us are real live adults with families and commitments and responsibilites, it's understandable. It was fun, and I look forward to the next gathering.

Today after class, Reny showed a few of us how to navigate the tunnel system that runs beneath some of the buildings. Reny did her undergrad here and works in the College of Pharmacy, so she knows some secrets. Definitely handy on cold or rainy days, or when one wants a little adventure. There are weird rooms with radiation warnings, and even a lock-up area where people (criminal patients?) are kept. I'm glad they have an angled mirror for the long hallway so that you can make sure a deranged murderer or a pediatric manikin isn't charging at you with a knife.

I had always heard about tunnels running underneath Champaign-Urbana, but this was either a rumor, or nobody bothered to show me. Thanks, Reny.